The other day a friend of mine came to visit and offered to pay for a meal. Being a poor college this was a no-brainer. Oh course I accepted and the adventure was underway.
By the way, this seems like a good time to mention that it's never a good idea to offer free food to a college student because even if you are being sarcastic they will say yes and you will pay for their meal. There is no way out of an offer for free food made to a college student. You have been warned.
Where was I? Oh yes. The adventure. So the pizza has been ordered and has arrived and a jolly good time is being had by all. In the midst of a deliciously greasy bite of stuffed crust pizza I found a little chunk of something tremendously hard in my mouth. Being a close cousin to Curious George (Disclaimer: Not an evolution reference) (Disclaimer Disclaimer: That's a pretty good one. Laugh now) I decided that I would investigate before swallowing this mysterious chunk. It turned out to be a good idea because it happened to be a good-sized chunk of tooth. Wonderful. Since I have a bit of history with teeth mishaps, (a story for another time) I thought, 'oh no, my teeth are falling out' and did not let the unnamed Pizza Hut restaurant know about my discover. Later, upon close examination of my teeth I realized that I was Columbus and this tooth was someone's New World! What that means is I found some strangers tooth inside my mouth, locked into the tomb of stuffed crust pizza! The End. Or so I thought at the time.
Clearly, I was having the best day ever. That is not sarcasm. Surprising, I know. I still am quite excited about my discovery. I'm sure there is some sort of secret society of tooth finders that I am now officially a part of. Probably like an honorary tooth fairy or something, but without the dancing shoes.
That same day I went to McDonalds (stay with me, all you McD's haters) and I ordered what I had thought to be a cheap snack. Remember, college student. I said to the lovely individual working the till, 'I'll have a small sundae and a small soft drink please wonderful individual.' To which they replied with a ridiculous price. Being a good person I didn't think twice and paid the price. Read that out loud, it rhymes. Well it turns out that a sundae and a small soft drink are now perfectly interchangeable with a large milkshake and a large vanilla cone. Aren't you glad I warned you about that? Now you know what McD's is up to. Those dirty rotten lovely individual's. They're probably putting children to work back there too.
The moral of this story of course is..... Look both ways before crossing the street. But if that sounds cliche go ahead and google 'moral of the story' and I'm sure you'll find something interesting!
Friday, 9 December 2011
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time...
Snuggies. UGG boots. Body squeegees. Inflatable rugs. Bird diapers. World War 2. Justin Bieber's Christmas album. All these things have one hilarious thing in common. They all seemed like a great idea at the time. Three sentences into this blog you are already thinking, "Why on earth am I reading this?" You are also thinking, "Why on earth is someone taking the time to write this?" Two things. First of all, yes I clearly am a mind reader. Second, if you hadn't already guessed it, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously though, since getting pretty caught up in the whole hipster movement, the thick-rimmed glasses, the scarves, the skinny jeans, the silly red shoes, all that noise, I've realized that if I want to legitimize my claim to hipsterdom (and have unlimited license to create my own words) I need to have a blog. A good friend of mine has a blog and I've been thinking it would be a great new experience. So here I am. Or rather, here it is. Lucky you, world wide interweb. Another blog no one ever reads!
For those of you that are still reading you are either; a. really bored, or b. intrigued by my satire and quick wit. Clearly it's b. That is a rhetorical statement. Just laugh. For your boredom and/or intrigue I will reward with some actual meaningful thoughts. I hope. The title of this blog is Radically Ordinary. Let me tell you why. For the past while now I've been taken with the idea that Jesus has called his people to be much more than ordinary middle class Christians. In fact, I'm becoming more and more convinced that Jesus has called us to be radical. To be actively involved with the poor, the hungry, and the needy. Christianity has been defined by what we are not for far too long. It's time to show the world who Jesus is by what we are. As Shane Claiborne says it is time to become an ordinary radical for the kingdom and cause of Christ. Instead of people conjuring up images of anti-gay judgmental non-smokers whenever they hear the word Christian let's change the stereotype to an image of Jesus with skin on. Let's be a people who change the world with our ordinary radicalness so that they know we are Christians by our love. Hey, that sounds almost like a Bible verse that I've heard somewhere.... Imagine that. Simply put, I am passionate about so many of God's people becoming radical that radical becomes ordinary. Radically Ordinary.
There you have it. Meaningful thoughts. Followed of course immediately by satire to keep the moment from getting uncomfortable. I also enjoy laughter and random adventures and will post occasion updates on those things as well. Meaningful thoughts. Laughter. Random Adventure. Sounds like a good time to me. This blog may or may not ever get updated again but it sure is off to a great start.
Seriously though, since getting pretty caught up in the whole hipster movement, the thick-rimmed glasses, the scarves, the skinny jeans, the silly red shoes, all that noise, I've realized that if I want to legitimize my claim to hipsterdom (and have unlimited license to create my own words) I need to have a blog. A good friend of mine has a blog and I've been thinking it would be a great new experience. So here I am. Or rather, here it is. Lucky you, world wide interweb. Another blog no one ever reads!
For those of you that are still reading you are either; a. really bored, or b. intrigued by my satire and quick wit. Clearly it's b. That is a rhetorical statement. Just laugh. For your boredom and/or intrigue I will reward with some actual meaningful thoughts. I hope. The title of this blog is Radically Ordinary. Let me tell you why. For the past while now I've been taken with the idea that Jesus has called his people to be much more than ordinary middle class Christians. In fact, I'm becoming more and more convinced that Jesus has called us to be radical. To be actively involved with the poor, the hungry, and the needy. Christianity has been defined by what we are not for far too long. It's time to show the world who Jesus is by what we are. As Shane Claiborne says it is time to become an ordinary radical for the kingdom and cause of Christ. Instead of people conjuring up images of anti-gay judgmental non-smokers whenever they hear the word Christian let's change the stereotype to an image of Jesus with skin on. Let's be a people who change the world with our ordinary radicalness so that they know we are Christians by our love. Hey, that sounds almost like a Bible verse that I've heard somewhere.... Imagine that. Simply put, I am passionate about so many of God's people becoming radical that radical becomes ordinary. Radically Ordinary.
There you have it. Meaningful thoughts. Followed of course immediately by satire to keep the moment from getting uncomfortable. I also enjoy laughter and random adventures and will post occasion updates on those things as well. Meaningful thoughts. Laughter. Random Adventure. Sounds like a good time to me. This blog may or may not ever get updated again but it sure is off to a great start.
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